Rita Rudner

The problem with cosmetic surgery is that people who have it can only see how they look in the mirror. They don't realise how weird they look from other angles. I particularly hate the injections that puff out the face, which are hideous.

My grandma actually put me in girdles when I was around nine or ten because I had hips even then, and she didn't want boys to be attracted to me. Having hips meant you were a full-grown woman, and I was too young for that.