Rita Rudner

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?

My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping.

As a young child my attention span was, as I remember it, rather short.

I spend a lot of time on eBay buying vintage. I also really like Alexander Wang, Miu Miu, Vivienne Westwood, McQueen and Balmain.

Interviews are fun, but I get nervous at red carpets.