Phyllis Diller

Quotes by Phyllis Diller

 

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

Phyllis Diller

eatkitchenodor

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The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.

Phyllis Diller

accidentallydayenjoy

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You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.

Phyllis Diller

alligatorbarefootcompliment

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I would've done anything to work with Satyajit Ray.

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If you're not having a good time, find something else that gives you some joy in life.

Penny Marshall

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I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates.

T. J. Miller

absurditybeardedhard

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