I wanted to become me, totally me. The more me, the better. I instinctively knew this and I was right. Phyllis Diller instinctivelyknowtotally Change image and share on social
The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. Phyllis Diller footballoutfitplay Change image and share on social
You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot. Phyllis Diller alligatorbarefootcompliment Change image and share on social
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them. Phyllis Diller affordchildmove Change image and share on social
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. Phyllis Diller accidentallydayenjoy Change image and share on social
I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. Phyllis Diller eighteenironyear Change image and share on social
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. Phyllis Diller childhomeparent Change image and share on social
The last thing I'd learn, well into my career, was how to get on, how to say hello, how to get in with the audience. Phyllis Diller audiencecareerlearn Change image and share on social
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. Phyllis Diller bachelorguymake Change image and share on social
