I can make things, but I don't cook them, exactly. Like salmon, I can stick that in a pan. Or the other day I made noodles, but they were hard. It never occurred to me to check them; I just stopped cooking them when I felt they were ready. Really, I'm too absentminded. Paula Poundstone absentmindedcheckcook share on social
I'm thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going. Paula Poundstone goodmemorythankful Change image and share on social
My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.' Paula Poundstone boatlakelearn Change image and share on social
Once I was gone for a month and I was just miserable, so I flew back from Florida for two hours just to be home and see my cats. Paula Poundstone backcatflorida Change image and share on social
My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it. Paula Poundstone actfathead Change image and share on social
I get the first flight out from anywhere I am because I have to come home to my kids. Paula Poundstone flighthomekid Change image and share on social
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling. Paula Poundstone deathfeltsin Change image and share on social
I was the youngest in my family. When the other kids went to school, my mother would make them breakfast and then she would go back to bed for an hour, so I was sort of babysat by television. Paula Poundstone babysatbackbed Change image and share on social
I talk to a lot of librarians, and there's always a steady drumbeat of how libraries are places of community. But a lot of them have also recently - and just in the nick of time - refurbished, because during this economic downturn, people have a tendency to borrow instead of buy. Paula Poundstone borrowbuycommunity share on social
President Obama could keep a big map with push pins on it to keep track of how many countries hate us, and when we get down to only half, let's have a ball. I'll blow up the balloons myself. Paula Poundstone ballballoonbig Change image and share on social
