President Obama could keep a big map with push pins on it to keep track of how many countries hate us, and when we get down to only half, let's have a ball. I'll blow up the balloons myself. Paula Poundstone ballballoonbig Change image and share on social
I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing. Paula Poundstone beautifulhavehorrible Change image and share on social
I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings. Paula Poundstone bagounceput Change image and share on social
When I sat down to write I just felt like a geek writing about myself. And then it dawned on me, just because of the way I am, I can't stop talking, and part of the problem is that anything that gets said reminds me of something that happened to me one time, and invariably I cut people off and talk about myself. Paula Poundstone cutdawnfelt share on social
I don't need a holiday or a feast to feel grateful for my children, the sun, the moon, the roof over my head, music, and laughter, but I like to take this time to take the path of thanks less traveled. Paula Poundstone childfeastfeel share on social
I talk to a lot of librarians, and there's always a steady drumbeat of how libraries are places of community. But a lot of them have also recently - and just in the nick of time - refurbished, because during this economic downturn, people have a tendency to borrow instead of buy. Paula Poundstone borrowbuycommunity share on social
When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. Paula Poundstone bearcallcanada Change image and share on social
When every high school graduate can spell the word, 'inauguration,' let's put lampshades on our heads and listen to his speeches until Obama's voice gives out. Paula Poundstone graduateheadhigh Change image and share on social
I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe. Paula Poundstone bottomentirehard Change image and share on social
My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it. Paula Poundstone actfathead Change image and share on social