Top 35 Quotes by Paula Poundstone

I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the 'Three Stooges' were geniuses. They'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long.

I was born in Alabama, but I only lived there for a month before I'd done everything there was to do.

When we live up to our Constitution, let's form a Conga line around the Capitol and bungee jump off the dome.

Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas.

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

I love key lime pie, although it's never made the proper way.

I get the first flight out from anywhere I am because I have to come home to my kids.

I was the youngest in my family. When the other kids went to school, my mother would make them breakfast and then she would go back to bed for an hour, so I was sort of babysat by television.

Once I was gone for a month and I was just miserable, so I flew back from Florida for two hours just to be home and see my cats.