The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. Henny Youngman happymarriageremain Change image and share on social
You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready. Henny Youngman readywit Change image and share on social
My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first! Henny Youngman bedcomplainfoot Change image and share on social
How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.' Henny Youngman crazydriveguy Change image and share on social
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport. Henny Youngman airportbacklaw Change image and share on social
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays. Henny Youngman atheistgiveholiday Change image and share on social
When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays. Henny Youngman afforddoctoroffer Change image and share on social
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. Henny Youngman buyhappinessmoney Change image and share on social
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. Henny Youngman breakdoctorleg Change image and share on social
This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest. Henny Youngman chicagoearnesterne Change image and share on social
