You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready. Henny Youngman readywit Change image and share on social
My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first! Henny Youngman bedcomplainfoot Change image and share on social
How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.' Henny Youngman crazydriveguy Change image and share on social
Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous. Henny Youngman couplefastfastidious Change image and share on social
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means. Henny Youngman affectiongivehome Change image and share on social
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport. Henny Youngman airportbacklaw Change image and share on social
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays. Henny Youngman atheistgiveholiday Change image and share on social
When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays. Henny Youngman afforddoctoroffer Change image and share on social
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. Henny Youngman backfindwife Change image and share on social
This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated! Henny Youngman doggraduateman Change image and share on social
