Henny Youngman

My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.

If a horse has four legs, and I'm riding it, I think I can win.

It took me realizing that a broken heart has never actually killed anyone to find the courage to ask for what I want, in just about every situation. That was part of my own growing up.

I was good at being a doctor; my patients liked me. At times people trust you with things they wouldn't tell their spouses. It was a real privilege.