Henny Youngman

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

Marriage can be work, it can be difficult, it can be hard, but I think working through those times makes you stronger as a couple and as a unit.

I am happy to the spokeswoman for this French youth that tomorrow will be spearhead new hope in the shape of the National Front.

My feeling for reality TV isn't ironic, guilty, or apologetic. Reality TV is one of the few remaining modes of popular entertainment in which characterization is permitted as plot.