In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first. George Carlin comicleaveperson Change image and share on social
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they? George Carlin crimefightfighter Change image and share on social
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. George Carlin executionfewgood Change image and share on social
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin bathroomclosedeath Change image and share on social
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin aimlowsettle Change image and share on social
I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. George Carlin alzheimerantibegin Change image and share on social
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. George Carlin petpettysweat Change image and share on social
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood. George Carlin groupguymember Change image and share on social
I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work. George Carlin allowpeopletime Change image and share on social
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. George Carlin cynicaldisappointidealist Change image and share on social
