George Carlin

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

Exeter was, I suspect, more crucial in my life than in the lives of most members of my class, and conceivably, than in the lives of almost anyone else who ever attended the school.

But with each passing year and each new study, the evidence for the genetic contribution to individual and group differences becomes more firmly established than ever.

I don't really have time to watch too much, but I like 'Family Guy' and 'Entourage.' I'm also obsessed with the YouTube series 'Balls of Steel.' It's hilarious.