I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work. George Carlin allowpeopletime Change image and share on social
When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. George Carlin candleedisonelectric Change image and share on social
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin badgirljolly Change image and share on social
If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him. George Carlin chargefindkill Change image and share on social
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. George Carlin floortequila Change image and share on social
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. George Carlin beliefdiefrisbeetarianism Change image and share on social
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin confuseevilforce Change image and share on social
You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar. George Carlin barcandychocolate Change image and share on social
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. George Carlin argumenteatfamily Change image and share on social