When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day? George Carlin dayimpatient Change image and share on social
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin badgirljolly Change image and share on social
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. George Carlin arrangebeat Change image and share on social
The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin acceptanswerreason Change image and share on social
You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar. George Carlin barcandychocolate Change image and share on social
Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin atheismorganizationprophet Change image and share on social
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. George Carlin caredesperatepeople Change image and share on social
When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. George Carlin candleedisonelectric Change image and share on social
