George Carlin

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

I don't like to get in front of people.

I don't see any possibility of Britain and the U.S. allowing a sovereign independent Iraq; that's almost inconceivable.

I studied international relations and economics at the University of Virginia. I paid my way by working as a bartender in the summer and at three part-time jobs during the year.