Top 38 Quotes by George Burns

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.