Top 451 Funny Quotes

If you take a bunch of superstars and put them in a room where they don't have their assistants and entourage, it's funny to see what happens.

If you take a bunch of superstars and put them in a room where they don't have their assistants and entourage, it's funny to see what happens.

Daryl Hall

I have a funny name.

I have a funny name.

Pia Zadora

I looked on my stomach and saw Frieda Rebecca, white as flour with the cream that covers new babies, funny little dark squiggles of hair plastered over her head, with big, dark-blue eyes.

I looked on my stomach and saw Frieda Rebecca, white as flour with the cream that covers new babies, funny little dark squiggles of hair plastered over her head, with big, dark-blue eyes.

Sylvia Plath

It's funny, when I'm not on the road or doing stuff with Bad Company - or whatever- I've always written songs galore... a lot of stuff people don't even hear.

It's funny, when I'm not on the road or doing stuff with Bad Company - or whatever- I've always written songs galore... a lot of stuff people don't even hear.

Mick Ralphs

There's been so many different types of musicals, and it's a funny genre because there's a fine line between clever and stupid. It really takes a genius to know how to do it.

There's been so many different types of musicals, and it's a funny genre because there's a fine line between clever and stupid. It really takes a genius to know how to do it.

Melissa Etheridge

I have a funny relationship with religion. I'm a big believer in ritualistic behavior as long as it doesn't hurt anybody. But I'm not a big fan of rules. And yet, we cannot live in a world without order.

Madonna Ciccone

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

Rita Rudner

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

Steven Wright

Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.

Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.

P. J. O'Rourke

I'm not going out and hitting a 95-mph fastball where I can't see the stitches. I'm not on a professional football team looking to tackle a fullback who is built like solid wood. I'm a thinking person, and I've been blessed with the ability to see some things and talk about them in a way that registers in a humorous and funny way.

Bill Cosby

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