If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you. Billy Wilder funnykillpeople Change image and share on social
What's so funny about cats is that they have this kind of aloof, superior vibe to them. Even if you love them, they are unpredictable. Dogs are more social, and the way that they attach and bond to us is much more human. Ze Frank aloofattachbond share on social
One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. Samuel Johnson disadvantagemakeman Change image and share on social
A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children. David Brenner childeatperson Change image and share on social
The audience changes every night. You're the same person. You have to speak your mind and do the stuff that you think is funny and makes you laugh. Joe Rogan audiencefunnylaugh Change image and share on social
If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? Laurence J. Peter cleanclutterdesk Change image and share on social
I love funny people. I met and became friends with some of the funniest people ever. Gilda Radner, bless her soul; Martin Short; Dave Thomas; Eugene Levy. Paul Shaffer blessdaveeugene Change image and share on social
The only guaranteed way to make something not very funny is to make it vague. Thomas Lennon funnyguaranteemake Change image and share on social
I find it funny how people from Boston and New York hate each other because of pro teams. But, like, everyone on the Red Sox is a random millionaire athlete from somewhere else. Julian Casablancas athletebostonfind Change image and share on social
