My little dog, he did not get ill. It is so funny that people get ill on a boat and dogs do not. Anna Held boatdogfunny Change image and share on social
Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening. Alexander Woollcott fattenillegalimmoral Change image and share on social
After 'Crocodile Dundee,' I turned down lots of stuff, most of it where I'd play the girlfriend of some funny man. Linda Kozlowski crocodiledundeefunny Change image and share on social
I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny. Mark Russell funnyjokeside Change image and share on social
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. Terry Pratchett comeinsistmind Change image and share on social
An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out. George Jean Nathan believefellowhousefly Change image and share on social
Do you know who I would love to play? Morticia Addams - then I could use all that darkness to be funny. Monica Bellucci addamdarknessfunny Change image and share on social
Girls don't poop, so don't claim you do. You can fart - because farting is funny - but we don't want to know that you poop. Ryan Hansen claimfartfunny Change image and share on social
In a funny way, poems are suited to modern life. They're short, they're intense. Nobody has time to read a 700-page book. People read magazines, and a poem takes less time than an article. Caroline Kennedy articlebookfunny Change image and share on social
'Funny People' is my favorite performance of myself to date. Even though it's a comedy and there are serious moments, I really felt like Leo felt like a real person. It didn't feel like I was playing myself. Whether it's a comedy or drama, I just try to make it as realistic as possible. Jonah Hill comedydatedrama share on social
