Top 451 Funny Quotes

The easiest time to be funny is during a fairly serious situation. That way, you can break the ice. It's crazy, but even at funerals, people will get huge laughs.

The easiest time to be funny is during a fairly serious situation. That way, you can break the ice. It's crazy, but even at funerals, people will get huge laughs.

Adam McKay

I grew up in Middle America and I don't think my family was very funny, but I watched 'The Princess Bride.' I always wanted to be an actor. I didn't know anything about it. I'd never seen any plays or anything and I watched that movie over and over and over again.

Missi Pyle

Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a boyfriend.

Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a boyfriend.

Lucy Liu

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

Oscar Levant

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

Elayne Boosler

Careers are funny things. They begin mysteriously and, just as mysteriously, they can end; and I am at just the very beginning of what I hope will be a long and satisfying life in the theater. But, whatever happens, I am grateful to have had my novice work received so well, and so quickly.

Edward Albee

I know I'm funny, because I'm eccentric, I'm odd. I'm not what you expect.

I know I'm funny, because I'm eccentric, I'm odd. I'm not what you expect.

Marian Seldes

Experience is a funny thing. You don't always have it when you need it.

Experience is a funny thing. You don't always have it when you need it.

Patrick Chan

I don't know why I get away with some things. But I'm not a misogynistic, racist person. Yet I do find those jokes funny, so I say them. And I try to say everything kind of in a good spirit.

I don't know why I get away with some things. But I'm not a misogynistic, racist person. Yet I do find those jokes funny, so I say them. And I try to say everything kind of in a good spirit.

Daniel Tosh

Comedy is the slave of time. What seemed funny then is unlikely to seem funny now, just as what strikes us as funny now would not have seemed funny then.

Comedy is the slave of time. What seemed funny then is unlikely to seem funny now, just as what strikes us as funny now would not have seemed funny then.

Craig Brown

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