Top 451 Funny Quotes

Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?

Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?

James Thurber

You really have no idea whether or not what you're writing is funny. In stand-up and sketch comedy, you know right away and you can make your changes accordingly.

You really have no idea whether or not what you're writing is funny. In stand-up and sketch comedy, you know right away and you can make your changes accordingly.

Michael Showalter

'Entourage' was a show that existed around wish-fulfillment. People watched it because they wanted to believe they could go on private jets and be hanging out in Hollywood, but as a show, comedically, it was not funny. Not a funny show. It's funny, ironically, because of how terrible it is.

Adam Pally

I think it's really important for celebrities to use their power of money and fame to get their voices out there. It's funny to me that we're expected to keep quiet just because of who we are. Why do I lose my right to speak my mind because I'm famous?

Lisa Edelstein

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.

Phyllis Diller

Johnny Knoxville has such an incredible humanity to him when you meet him. He's so warm and so funny, and he can sort of get into trouble and you sort of forgive him immediately.

Johnny Knoxville has such an incredible humanity to him when you meet him. He's so warm and so funny, and he can sort of get into trouble and you sort of forgive him immediately.

Max Winkler

The funny thing is, I was never purposely blonde. I just got highlights, and then you get highlights over highlights, and then it looks like you're blonde.

The funny thing is, I was never purposely blonde. I just got highlights, and then you get highlights over highlights, and then it looks like you're blonde.

Cheri Oteri

My main point is to be funny; if I can slip a message in there, fine.

My main point is to be funny; if I can slip a message in there, fine.

Flip Wilson

My little dog, he did not get ill. It is so funny that people get ill on a boat and dogs do not.

My little dog, he did not get ill. It is so funny that people get ill on a boat and dogs do not.

Anna Held

The easiest time to be funny is during a fairly serious situation. That way, you can break the ice. It's crazy, but even at funerals, people will get huge laughs.

The easiest time to be funny is during a fairly serious situation. That way, you can break the ice. It's crazy, but even at funerals, people will get huge laughs.

Adam McKay

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