Top 46 Quotes by Dennis Miller

Never have lives less lived been more chronicled.

The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in the United States. The plan called for a million Mexicans to marry a million of our ugliest citizens.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.

I don't have credibility, I'm a comedian.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.

America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school.

President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which.

Somebody can say they don't understand why somebody drifts. But I've always found people who drift interesting, 'cause it shows me the game's not stagnant in their own head. They're thinking.