The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board. Dennis Miller americanaverageboard Change image and share on social
What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign. Dennis Miller businesscampaigncare share on social
President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which. Dennis Miller addressbushenglish Change image and share on social
I don't have credibility, I'm a comedian. Dennis Miller comediancredibility Change image and share on social
What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy. Dennis Miller articleconstantlydrive Change image and share on social
Joan Rivers telling Lauren Bacall her dress is all wrong is like Carrot Top telling Lenny Bruce he needs to get an edge. Dennis Miller bacallbrucecarrot Change image and share on social
The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt. Dennis Miller aidblameglobal Change image and share on social
We should fight to preserve a country where people such as Michael Moore get to miss the point as badly as he misses it. Michael Moore represents everything I detest in a human being. Dennis Miller badlycountrydetest Change image and share on social
The American education system couldn't be more badly directed or poorly funded if the Secretary of Education were Ed Wood. Dennis Miller americanbadlydirect Change image and share on social
