Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I'm swimming, sometimes I'm not sure which one it is. Demetri Martin confusediefun Change image and share on social
It's funny: when people always talk about the importance of role models, I used to think that was so exaggerated, but as I get older, I start to realize I don't feel that way so much anymore. If you see somebody like you who's doing something, an older version of what you are, it does make you feel like it's more possible. Demetri Martin anymoreexaggeratefeel share on social
The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously. Demetri Martin actorbillcartoonist Change image and share on social
I have fun acting, and I want to do more of it, and I want to direct my own movie. Demetri Martin actdirectfun Change image and share on social
The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. Demetri Martin beebirdchild Change image and share on social
I like stand-up. But I'd also like a family and house and a yard. I want to work with a lot of people, have colleagues; and on good film sets, there's people there that work with the same people for years and years. I love that collaborative spirit in that medium. Comedy is a lot more solitary. Demetri Martin collaborativecolleaguecomedy share on social
A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive. Demetri Martin backseatdangerousdrink Change image and share on social
Usually, my favorite joke is whichever joke I most recently came up with that surprised me the first time I thought of it. Demetri Martin favoritejokerecently Change image and share on social
Okay, so, when I was a kid, definitely the drawings and the illustration. Then I stopped in sixth grade or so. And then I started again when I was in my twenties. I really didn't progress since then, so the way I draw is the way I drew in sixth grade. Demetri Martin drawdrawinggrade share on social
I was student council president in high school, and even in law school, I was vice-president of the student bar association. Demetri Martin associationbarcouncil Change image and share on social