David Letterman

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.

I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.

There is no off position on the genius switch.

I don't really have time to watch too much, but I like 'Family Guy' and 'Entourage.' I'm also obsessed with the YouTube series 'Balls of Steel.' It's hilarious.

Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'

When the market goes to hell, it's more of an opportunity than a problem.