The Howard Stern Show is a big hit because it entertains dumb and smart people at the same time for different reasons. Artie Lange bigdumbentertain Change image and share on social
I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro. Artie Lange castrocommunistcountry Change image and share on social
I was always a thin kid; I was an athlete. Artie Lange athletekidthin Change image and share on social
When you did impressions on 'MADtv,' the producers gave you a Walkman that played huge sections of whatever movie was being parodied, with your character's catchphrases recorded on a loop. You'd wear this thing around during rehearsals and for a week listen to the voice you had to impersonate over and over again. It drove all of us crazy. Artie Lange catchphrasecharactercrazy share on social
It's weird because standup can be like therapy. Comedians can't be satisfied with just having fun with our friends. We've got to figure out a way to do it on stage. Artie Lange comedianfigurefriend Change image and share on social
A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian. Artie Lange bearchristiandrink Change image and share on social
I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke. Artie Lange apologizejoke Change image and share on social
I'm a comic, so I like to stay nocturnal. I work 10 p.m. to 1 a.m. Artie Lange comicnocturnalstay Change image and share on social
Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine. Artie Lange everytimefineincur Change image and share on social
I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life. Artie Lange easyguylack Change image and share on social