The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent. Artie Lange datedaydrive share on social
I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something. Artie Lange artistdarkgenius Change image and share on social
Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38. Artie Lange depressdiegoogled Change image and share on social
The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation. Artie Lange drinkmoderationpoint Change image and share on social
People are so nice, you know. It's such a credit to Howard Stern - the audience base that he created is such a special thing. It took him a long time to create this family of fans, and I was lucky to be a part of that for a while. Artie Lange audiencebasecreate share on social
'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty. Artie Lange highmightysport Change image and share on social
When I encountered rich people for the first time, I discovered that not only do they holiday in places that are hard to find on a map, but that they also use the names of seasons as verbs. When they asked me, 'Where did you summer and winter growing up?' I would usually say, 'As a child? The same place I springed and autumned.' Artie Lange askautumnedchild share on social
As a child, as far as I was concerned, my dad had an amazing job, and we had all the money we needed. My life was so fun and carefree that I didn't realize at all that we weren't rich - until I met someone rich. Still, I've never met a rich kid who grew up as happy as I did. Artie Lange amazecarefreechild share on social
By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't plan on working that long. Artie Lange agehopehoward Change image and share on social