To tell you the truth, there are all these websites predicting my early death, and it's starting to work on me! Artie Lange deathearlypredict Change image and share on social
Eddie Murphy said once in an interview that nothing is offensive if it's funny. I sort of agree with that, but if something's funny and you're the subject of it, sometimes it's more offensive. If someone's insulting you, you want them to sound like an idiot. Artie Lange agreeeddiefunny share on social
Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time. Artie Lange comedyhappinessmean Change image and share on social
Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine. Like, if Jerry Seinfeld wasn't funny, you'd want to punch him in the face; he'd just seem like a whiner to you. But the fact is that he's funny. Artie Lange comedianfacefact share on social
I never went through a period were I wanted to be a doctor, a cop or even a rock star. All I wanted to do was play short stop for the Yankees from the time I was about 5. Then I turned 15 and realized how silly that was and just gave up on it. Artie Lange copdoctorgive share on social
When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one job where you could be really honest and open, almost like Richard Pryor or something. You can be honest about your life and get laughs. Artie Lange honestjoblaugh Change image and share on social
Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that. Artie Lange businesscorrectendorsement Change image and share on social
