Top 47 Quotes by Andy Rooney

As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

I'm in a position of feeling secure enough so that I can say what I think is right and if so many people think it's wrong that I get fired, well, I've got enough to eat.

Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account.

The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.