My act is an exaggeration of a part of me. I'm much more expressive off stage. Steven Wright actexaggerationexpressive Change image and share on social
Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home. Steven Wright childchoosehome Change image and share on social
My mother is from another time - the funniest person to her is Lucille Ball; that's what she loves. A lot of times she tells me she doesn't know what I'm talking about. I know if I wasn't her son and she was flipping through the TV and saw me, she would just keep going. Steven Wright ballflipfunny share on social
I don't get up, get dressed, go out, and think, 'Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.' Steven Wright dressfindgotta Change image and share on social
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. Steven Wright amnesiadejatime Change image and share on social
I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast. Steven Wright earlyfastindy Change image and share on social
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back? Steven Wright backheatwave Change image and share on social
I laugh all the time - at things, people, stuff, whatever. But, I don't laugh onstage because then it's serious business. Steven Wright businesslaughonstage Change image and share on social
Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.' Steven Wright askboatbook Change image and share on social
