I don't get up, get dressed, go out, and think, 'Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.' Steven Wright dressfindgotta Change image and share on social
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. Steven Wright amnesiadejatime Change image and share on social
I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast. Steven Wright earlyfastindy Change image and share on social
You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor. Steven Wright branchheadhumor Change image and share on social
I laugh all the time - at things, people, stuff, whatever. But, I don't laugh onstage because then it's serious business. Steven Wright businesslaughonstage Change image and share on social
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny. Steven Wright centmakepenny Change image and share on social
To me, comedy is just twisting reality. It's commenting or observing or twisting life. Steven Wright comedycommentlife Change image and share on social
One day a guy tried to rob me on the street, and I had no money. So I charged him. Steven Wright chargedayguy Change image and share on social
Childhood was very nice. The only thing wrong was that I was so introverted, everything became a big deal... 'Oh, no, here comes the bus. Where am I gonna sit on the bus?' Steven Wright bigbuschildhood Change image and share on social
