To me, comedy is just twisting reality. It's commenting or observing or twisting life. Steven Wright comedycommentlife Change image and share on social
One day a guy tried to rob me on the street, and I had no money. So I charged him. Steven Wright chargedayguy Change image and share on social
I laugh all the time - at things, people, stuff, whatever. But, I don't laugh onstage because then it's serious business. Steven Wright businesslaughonstage Change image and share on social
Real life? Well, I just hope mine isn't investigated. They might find that I don't really exist - that I'm just a hologram. Steven Wright existfindhologram Change image and share on social
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know? Steven Wright dictionarymisspellword Change image and share on social
Very rarely do I talk off the top of my head on stage. I'm not an improv guy. I'm a writer-guy who presents what he's written. Steven Wright guyheadimprov Change image and share on social
I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out. Steven Wright glassprescriptionrun Change image and share on social
I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second. Steven Wright advertiseexecutivesubliminal Change image and share on social
I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking', but I don't have that much time. Steven Wright bankhourtime Change image and share on social
