If you become famous and don't have a live show to back it up, they're not going to pay you any money. Ron White backfamouslive Change image and share on social
You can tell on-stage when a joke's starting to lose its pop. It doesn't mean people don't want to hear it anymore; it means I don't want to do it anymore. Because I want to move on to something that has a knee-jerk reaction just like you get when you tell somebody a joke that they've never heard. Ron White anymorehavehear share on social
My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan - thin, slow, and it leaks. Ron White braincolandercross Change image and share on social
I've got a role in the new Billy Bob Thornton movie that Billy Bob wrote and is going to direct called 'Jayne Mansfield's Car.' I only have four scenes, but I have as much dialogue as anybody in the movie. Ron White billybobcall share on social
Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane. Ron White abolishdeathexpress Change image and share on social
I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part. Ron White badbiggood Change image and share on social
If I see someone out there mouthing the words to a bit, I'm not having fun. Ron White bitefunmouth Change image and share on social
Mother, she likes the blue material just fine. Ron White bluefinelike Change image and share on social
There's not a pill you can take; there's not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever. Ron White classforeverpill Change image and share on social
I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn't care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there. Ron White careidealaugh Change image and share on social