I'm always trying out new stuff onstage. That's where I do all my writing. Patton Oswalt onstagestuffwrite Change image and share on social
A lot of nerds aren't aware they're nerds. A geek has thrown his hands up to the universe and gone, 'I speak Klingon - who am I fooling? You win! I'm just gonna openly like what I like.' Geeks tend to be a little happier with themselves. Patton Oswalt awarefoolgeek share on social
I like to write, I like to do stand-up, I like to act. Patton Oswalt actstandwrite Change image and share on social
I really had to imagine the kind of person that I would have been if I had never left my hometown. I don't think I would have been a very pleasant person. Patton Oswalt hometownimaginekind Change image and share on social
The problem is, and I'm just as guilty of this, a lot of people see their follower count increase and mistake that for friendships. It's great to have followers, especially if you want to sell albums, promote shows, or promote your friends, but you still need to get outside and talk to other human beings. Patton Oswalt albumbeingcount share on social
In my mind, I was always a comedian who was going to branch into writing. Patton Oswalt branchcomedianmind Change image and share on social
You know, in Los Angeles, you're constantly in your car, you're sealed up, you're not walking around. Whereas in New York, after a while, all your stuff is kind of public, in one way or the other. I'm not saying either one of those is bad; they're both great for a very specific kind of comedian. And I'm glad that they both exist. Patton Oswalt angelesbadcar share on social
So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, 'The good outnumber you, and we always will.' Patton Oswalt bigotryeyefear Change image and share on social
I've gotten very cynical and kind of anhedonic about all the things I have to do to get to do comedy: all the travel, hotels, and airports. Patton Oswalt airportanhedoniccomedy Change image and share on social
If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins. Patton Oswalt coingoldhead Change image and share on social