The Kentucky Fried Chicken corporation made a bobble head of me and sent it to my management. No card, nothing. Patton Oswalt bobblecardchicken Change image and share on social
To get asked to do stuff like 'United States Of Tara' and 'Caprica' is terrific. I can't complain. Patton Oswalt askcapricacomplain Change image and share on social
If I were to just focus on stand-up, I could actually, paradoxically enough, be home way more, because I would leave on a Friday, go do a couple theaters Friday, Saturday, maybe Sunday, come home. Patton Oswalt couplefocusfriday Change image and share on social
90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up, painting and music. Focus on the 10% that's good, suck it up, and drive on. Patton Oswalt artdancedrive Change image and share on social
Like, my feelings on religion are starting to morph. I'm still very much an atheist, except that I don't necessarily see religion as being a bad thing. So, that's a weird thing that I'm struggling with that seems to be offending both atheists and people that are religious. Patton Oswalt atheistbadfeeling share on social
I have to drink this much to be as unfunny as you. Patton Oswalt drinkunfunny Change image and share on social
We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago. Patton Oswalt agoaliveeat Change image and share on social
It's like our country is being run by a bunch of bad alcoholic dads right now. Patton Oswalt alcoholicbadbunch Change image and share on social
As unhealthy as I am, I'm weirdly aware of exactly how my body functions. Patton Oswalt awarebodyfunction Change image and share on social
I'm still very much an atheist, except that I don't necessarily see religion as being a bad thing. So, that's a weird thing that I'm struggling with that seems to be offending both atheists and people that are religious. Patton Oswalt atheistbadnecessarily share on social
