You realize that for all the shenanigans that go on in the big circus of politics, everybody wakes up and goes to work. Lewis Black bigcircuspolitic Change image and share on social
I do the same gig. I might change it a little; I might slow it down if I'm in the South. I talk fast, and they're not used to people talking that fast. Lewis Black changefastgig Change image and share on social
You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned. Lewis Black concernmouthpork Change image and share on social
It's a big thing now: A lot of people want to be assistants to celebrities. If you're pursuing that, you're an idiot. You're a moron. The shortest distance between two points is not a celebrity, or being next to a celebrity. Lewis Black assistantbigcelebrity share on social
No matter what, your parents are going to worry about you. I had a tour bus, and my mother still thought I was broke. Remember: It's your life, not theirs. Just because your parents sent you to college doesn't mean they bought the rest of your life. Lewis Black breakbusbuy share on social
When we anticipate, we're the happiest. Unless you're on antidepressants. The reason you take antidepressants is because you can't anticipate. You think everything's going to be horrible, so it usually is. Lewis Black anticipateantidepressanthappy share on social
What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense. Lewis Black daydisturbfind Change image and share on social
I started playing golf when I was a kid, because across the street from where we lived there was a little nine-hole golf course where my father worked. Lewis Black fathergolfhole Change image and share on social
Basically I wake up in the morning and I think everything's going to be great. I'm really kind of optimistic, and I look forward to a new day. I pick up 'The New York Times,' and I look at the front page and realize that once again I'm wrong. I start to fixate on stuff. Lewis Black basicallydayfixate share on social
It took forever for me to get work because I was a political comic, and now it's become good business, and God knows how long that'll last. You have to do it night after night after night to kind of make it. I still find myself on 'Piers Morgan' or on some show and I think, 'I hope this is funny.' Lewis Black businesscomicfind share on social