Lewis Black

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

Parenting isn't just parenting your own child.

Well, I actually wrote her a letter a couple of days ago congratulating her. The tone I tried to convey in the letter is, look, you are a part of a great American historical process.

Before I die, I will preach to the Muslims in the Arab world. I will preach in Egypt, Lebanon, Syria and Iran. I will preach in Tehran. I will do it under the umbrella of God. And see its impact.

It's easy to have faith in yourself and have discipline when you're a winner, when you're number one. What you got to have is faith and discipline when you're not a winner.