Top 37 Quotes by Jon Stewart

If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news.

President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much of it came from the hundreds of thousands of voters who supported him by voting for Nader.

I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.

I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.

A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'

The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be determined by Internet vote... so look for Howard Stern's Private Parts to come in No. 1.

If you're going to give people 20 minutes of news satire, you've also got to give them Tiffani-Amber Thiessen or you're going to have rioting in the streets.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

Our culture is just a series of checks and balances. The whole idea that we're in a battle between tyranny and freedom - it's a series of pendulum swings.