Top 37 Quotes by Jon Stewart

Our culture is just a series of checks and balances. The whole idea that we're in a battle between tyranny and freedom - it's a series of pendulum swings.

Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

I'm thrilled to be asked to host the Academy Awards for the second time because, as they say, the third time's a charm.

I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor.

I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president... and I just wanted to stop him and say, 'Dude.'

I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.

Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values: they're hobbies.