Jon Stewart

The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom.

I don't care about wealth. What seems to be upsetting is institutionalizing the advantages that wealth gives you.

Why is it that if you take advantage of a corporate tax break you're a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something so you don't go hungry, you're a moocher?

What people don't understand about Sarah Palin is that she is a rancher's wife. From Alberta down to Texas I've known women like that: good common sense, bright and vilified by city people.

Why do men fight who were born to be brothers?

Emigration is always a difficulty.