Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain. Jon Stewart britaincallcoalition Change image and share on social
There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it! Jon Stewart comedyfixguy Change image and share on social
I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land. Jon Stewart celebrateenormousfashion Change image and share on social
If you're going to give people 20 minutes of news satire, you've also got to give them Tiffani-Amber Thiessen or you're going to have rioting in the streets. Jon Stewart ambergivehave Change image and share on social
There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on 'Friends' is. Jon Stewart arguecharacterfavorite Change image and share on social
Insomnia is my greatest inspiration. Jon Stewart greatinsomniainspiration Change image and share on social
Here's the point - you're looking at affirmative action, and you're looking at marijuana. You legalize marijuana, no need for quotas, because really, who's gonna wanna work? Jon Stewart actionaffirmativegonna Change image and share on social
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. Yes, I want to look back and know that I was terrible at a variety of things. Jon Stewart backcareergood share on social
Liberal and conservative have lost their meaning in America. I represent the distracted center. Jon Stewart americacenterconservative Change image and share on social
President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much of it came from the hundreds of thousands of voters who supported him by voting for Nader. Jon Stewart americanbushdisplay Change image and share on social
