Joel McHale

If you have a dream, just lie about it. Lie your way unto your dreams.

In prison, inmates sometimes use Cheetos and grape juice as makeup. I wouldn't use that beauty regimen around Britney Spears - she might lick your face off!

Once you've been booked, people in Hollywood say, 'Oh he must be good.' All the while you're the same actor.

I'm a huge Dallas Mavs fan. What I love about Dirk Nowitzki is he has just as much talent as everyone else, if not more, and he never toots his own horn. He's this silent warrior.

I think for any actor, for the roles they deeply, truly want? They always have to audition for them.

I don't know very many people in the art world, only socialise with the few I like, and have little time to gnaw my nails with anxiety about any criticism I hear about.