Joel McHale

Once you've been booked, people in Hollywood say, 'Oh he must be good.' All the while you're the same actor.

In prison, inmates sometimes use Cheetos and grape juice as makeup. I wouldn't use that beauty regimen around Britney Spears - she might lick your face off!

If you have a dream, just lie about it. Lie your way unto your dreams.

I think for any actor, for the roles they deeply, truly want? They always have to audition for them.

I'm a huge Dallas Mavs fan. What I love about Dirk Nowitzki is he has just as much talent as everyone else, if not more, and he never toots his own horn. He's this silent warrior.

I don't know very many people in the art world, only socialise with the few I like, and have little time to gnaw my nails with anxiety about any criticism I hear about.