Joel McHale

If you have a dream, just lie about it. Lie your way unto your dreams.

In prison, inmates sometimes use Cheetos and grape juice as makeup. I wouldn't use that beauty regimen around Britney Spears - she might lick your face off!

Once you've been booked, people in Hollywood say, 'Oh he must be good.' All the while you're the same actor.

The NFL offensive blocking is played differently; they use their hands instead of their head and shoulders.

My first career ambitions involved turning into a boy; I intended to be either a railway guard or a knight errant.

I just love good movies. And not every movie you're going to end up in is always going to turn out right, but at least walk into it with the right intention.