I've learned from doing my own show with Fox that people are not your partners if they're signing the checks. Whoever signs your paycheck is the boss - no matter what they tell you. Joan Rivers boscheckfox Change image and share on social
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. Joan Rivers birthcontrolleave Change image and share on social
I do a lot of lectures on survival. I always say you can't change what happened, so have a little wallow, feel very sorry for yourself, and then get up and move forward. You can't change what happened. Joan Rivers changefeelforward share on social
The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me and projectile vomited all over the stage. It was horrible. Joan Rivers badforwardhappen Change image and share on social
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor. Joan Rivers benddiamondfloor Change image and share on social
A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp. Joan Rivers askmakeman Change image and share on social
I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware. Joan Rivers bodydiedonate Change image and share on social
I'm a New York girl. I come out of New York theater. Joan Rivers girltheateryork Change image and share on social
Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. Joan Rivers chinchinesedirectory Change image and share on social
