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Top 65 Quotes by Gilbert Gottfried


About Gilbert Gottfried


These are some quotes by American author Gilbert Gottfried Comedian, who was born on February 28, 1955.

 
I don't know if I change my act from century to century. Sometimes I'm onstage doing imitations and references to people who have been dead for 50 years.

I don't know if I change my act from century to century. Sometimes I'm onstage doing imitations and references to people who have been dead for 50 years.

Gilbert Gottfried

actcenturychange
 
I'm a very anti-vacation person. Because I'm always getting on planes for work, to me, a vacation is when I don't have to get on a plane.

I'm a very anti-vacation person. Because I'm always getting on planes for work, to me, a vacation is when I don't have to get on a plane.

Gilbert Gottfried

antipersonplane
 
My Bubbie lived to 104, which is probably a little too old to consider a ripe old age, because she had already started to turn. I still say she died young.

My Bubbie lived to 104, which is probably a little too old to consider a ripe old age, because she had already started to turn. I still say she died young.

Gilbert Gottfried

agebubbiedie
 
I understand being less sexy than Osama bin Laden, but not less sexy than Carrot Top. That, I find offensive.

I understand being less sexy than Osama bin Laden, but not less sexy than Carrot Top. That, I find offensive.

Gilbert Gottfried

bincarrotfind
 
If a comedian tells a joke that you find funny, you laugh. If he tells a joke you do not find funny, don't laugh. Or you could possibly go as far as groaning or rolling your eyes. Then you wait for his next joke; if that's funny, then you laugh. If it's not, you don't laugh - or at very worst, you can leave quietly.

Gilbert Gottfried

badcomedianeye
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