A landlord is showing a couple around an apartment. The husband looks up and says, 'Wait a minute. This apartment doesn't have a ceiling.' The landlord answers, 'That's OK. The people upstairs don't walk around that much.' Gilbert Gottfried answerapartmentceil share on social
Off-camera, I sound like Perry Como. Gilbert Gottfried cameracomoperry Change image and share on social
You never know what people will choose to be offended by. Gilbert Gottfried chooseoffendpeople Change image and share on social
With the Internet, if you erase something it just means you have to spend another half-minute to find it. Gilbert Gottfried erasefindhalf Change image and share on social
I don't know if I change my act from century to century. Sometimes I'm onstage doing imitations and references to people who have been dead for 50 years. Gilbert Gottfried actcenturychange Change image and share on social
I'm known for my slightly inappropriate remarks. Gilbert Gottfried inappropriateremarkslightly Change image and share on social
There are certain things I don't want to joke about. If it's about somebody else, it's fine. If it's about me, I think it's totally insensitive! Gilbert Gottfried fineinsensitivejoke Change image and share on social
The joy of the roasts is to watch people get hurt and offended, and then have to laugh to pretend they're a good sport. Gilbert Gottfried goodhurtjoy Change image and share on social
Any misfortune that happens to another person is funny. If it happens to someone else and not me, it's very funny. Gilbert Gottfried funnymisfortuneperson Change image and share on social
I'm one of those people that picks up the remote control and just keep hitting constantly, even if I like the show I'm watching. Gilbert Gottfried constantlycontrolhit Change image and share on social
