I used to go to the Improvisation Comedy Club every night in Times Square. How I didn't get killed in that area either means that 1) God is watching over me or 2) I am so insignificant to God that he didn't bother having me killed. Gilbert Gottfried areabotherclub share on social
In real life I'm a tall, blond Christian. Gilbert Gottfried blondchristianlife Change image and share on social
I have always felt comedy and tragedy are roommates. If you look up comedy and tragedy, you will find a very old picture of two masks. One mask is tragedy. It looks like it's crying. The other mask is comedy. It looks like it's laughing. Nowadays, we would say, 'How tasteless and insensitive. A comedy mask is laughing at a tragedy mask.' Gilbert Gottfried comedycryfelt share on social
I would show up at a party for Al Qaeda if you said there's going to be a dinner. Gilbert Gottfried dinnerpartyqaeda Change image and share on social
If you're a lead actor, people are just waiting to say 'you're too old' or 'you're too unhip.' If you're a supporting actor, you can just work forever. Gilbert Gottfried actorforeverlead Change image and share on social
I changed the face of comedy. I used to be funny. Gilbert Gottfried changecomedyface Change image and share on social
I predict one of these two teams will win the Super Bowl. Gilbert Gottfried bowlpredictsuper Change image and share on social
The joy of the roasts is to watch people get hurt and offended, and then have to laugh to pretend they're a good sport. Gilbert Gottfried goodhurtjoy Change image and share on social
I always wish the hotels were like they are in movies and TV shows, where if you're in Paris, right outside your window is the Eiffel Tower. In Egypt, the pyramids are right there. In the movies, every hotel has a monument right outside your window. My hotel rooms overlook the garbage dumpster in the back alley. Gilbert Gottfried alleybackdumpster share on social
I was Jewish, through and through, although in our house that didn't mean a whole lot. We never went to synagogue. I never had a Bar Mitzvah. We didn't keep kosher or observe the Sabbath. In fact, I'm not so sure I would have known what the Sabbath looked like if it passed me on the street, so how could I observe it? Gilbert Gottfried barfacthouse share on social