I would show up at a party for Al Qaeda if you said there's going to be a dinner. Download Download Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Rotate quotes dinner party qaeda
The joy of the roasts is to watch people get hurt and offended, and then have to laugh to pretend they're a good sport. Gilbert Gottfried goodhurtjoy Change image and share on social
A landlord is showing a couple around an apartment. The husband looks up and says, 'Wait a minute. This apartment doesn't have a ceiling.' The landlord answers, 'That's OK. The people upstairs don't walk around that much.' Gilbert Gottfried answerapartmentceil share on social
I'm a very anti-vacation person. Because I'm always getting on planes for work, to me, a vacation is when I don't have to get on a plane. Gilbert Gottfried antipersonplane Change image and share on social
I'm the world's worst after-dinner speaker. I need pictures to respond to. I was the voice of the lottery balls once and got the sack. Sid Waddell badballdinner Change image and share on social
What is al Qaeda? It's an open source religious political movement that works off the global supply chain. Thomas Friedman chainglobalmovement Change image and share on social
The American people need no course in philosophy or political science of church history to know that God should not be made into a celestial party chairman. Mario Cuomo americancelestialchairman Change image and share on social