Top 65 Quotes by Gilbert Gottfried

About Gilbert Gottfried

These are some quotes by American author Gilbert Gottfried, who was born on February 28, 1955.

In real life I'm a tall, blond Christian.

In real life I'm a tall, blond Christian.

Gilbert Gottfried

Unfortunately, I've never been mistaken as Johnny Depp.

Unfortunately, I've never been mistaken as Johnny Depp.

Gilbert Gottfried

I'm one of those people, in any country I'm in, if somebody could just put me in a car or a bus, I'll look out the window and say, 'OK, there's the Tower of London, there's Buckingham Palace, there's Big Ben,' and if it all takes about five minutes, perfect. I've seen all of it and I can go home.

Gilbert Gottfried

Any misfortune that happens to another person is funny. If it happens to someone else and not me, it's very funny.

Any misfortune that happens to another person is funny. If it happens to someone else and not me, it's very funny.

Gilbert Gottfried

I think a lot of people have too much time on their hands.

I think a lot of people have too much time on their hands.

Gilbert Gottfried

No, generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism.

No, generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism.

Gilbert Gottfried

I was the class podiatrist. I never made it to class clown. I wasn't funny enough. I would examine feet and prescribe and ointment. It was a sad childhood.

I was the class podiatrist. I never made it to class clown. I wasn't funny enough. I would examine feet and prescribe and ointment. It was a sad childhood.

Gilbert Gottfried

If I could cause world peace by taking someone out to lunch, I'd go, 'Well, war isn't that terrible.'

If I could cause world peace by taking someone out to lunch, I'd go, 'Well, war isn't that terrible.'

Gilbert Gottfried

A lot of people who claim they're political comedians are just comedians who have opinions. But they stop being funny the minute they give their opinions.

A lot of people who claim they're political comedians are just comedians who have opinions. But they stop being funny the minute they give their opinions.

Gilbert Gottfried

I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.

I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.

Gilbert Gottfried

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