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The joy of the roasts is to watch people get hurt and offended, and then have to laugh to pretend they're a good sport. Gilbert Gottfried goodhurtjoy Change image and share on social
A landlord is showing a couple around an apartment. The husband looks up and says, 'Wait a minute. This apartment doesn't have a ceiling.' The landlord answers, 'That's OK. The people upstairs don't walk around that much.' Gilbert Gottfried answerapartmentceil share on social
I'm a very anti-vacation person. Because I'm always getting on planes for work, to me, a vacation is when I don't have to get on a plane. Gilbert Gottfried antipersonplane Change image and share on social
The old dog, if not assaulted, does not bite. Edward Asiminei assaultbitedog Change image and share on social
Kill the one who rebukes you with the truth, and glorify the one who honors you with a lie! Edward Asiminei glorifyhonorkill Change image and share on social
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart. Helen Keller beautifulfeltheart Change image and share on social
There are only 3 colors, 10 digits, and 7 notes; its what we do with them that's important. Jim Rohn colordigitimportant Change image and share on social
