If I could cause world peace by taking someone out to lunch, I'd go, 'Well, war isn't that terrible.' Gilbert Gottfried lunchpeacetake Change image and share on social
A lot of people who claim they're political comedians are just comedians who have opinions. But they stop being funny the minute they give their opinions. Gilbert Gottfried claimcomedianfunny Change image and share on social
The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever. Gilbert Gottfried comedianfunnyhave Change image and share on social
Well, I'm eventually gonna take the Daryl Hannah parts. Gilbert Gottfried daryleventuallygonna Change image and share on social
My family originally lived in Brooklyn. Our first apartment was a little place above my father and uncle's hardware store in Coney Island. Now, don't get the impression that we were surrounded by merry-go-rounds, roller coasters and Ferris wheels. Nope, this was a little side street. Gilbert Gottfried apartmentbrooklyncoaster share on social
I predict one of these two teams will win the Super Bowl. Gilbert Gottfried bowlpredictsuper Change image and share on social
Back when Jerry Seinfeld was just another comedian hanging around the clubs, I'd imitate him to amuse myself and the other comics. The club owners would say, 'What are you doing that for? Nobody knows him.' Gilbert Gottfried amusebackclub share on social
I wanted to be a brain surgeon, but I had a bad habit of dropping things. Gilbert Gottfried badbraindrop Change image and share on social
I always wish the hotels were like they are in movies and TV shows, where if you're in Paris, right outside your window is the Eiffel Tower. In Egypt, the pyramids are right there. In the movies, every hotel has a monument right outside your window. My hotel rooms overlook the garbage dumpster in the back alley. Gilbert Gottfried alleybackdumpster share on social
I'm one of those people that picks up the remote control and just keep hitting constantly, even if I like the show I'm watching. Gilbert Gottfried constantlycontrolhit Change image and share on social