Top 451 Funny Quotes

I am such that person that, when I'm working, I'm like, 'Oh, what I wouldn't give for a weekend off!' And then, as soon as I have more that 18 hours without anything to do, I start shaking. It's really funny.

You just suddenly think that there's something quite childish about acting. Basically, it's pretending, isn't it? It's good fun and I enjoy it, but it's a funny way of making a living, particularly when you make a very good wage, as I've been fortunate enough to do.

Somebody said something funny to me the other day. They said, 'Wolper, until two weeks ago, your tombstone was going to say, 'David Wolper, the man who produced 'Roots.' I think the tombstone now has a new inscription. It's going to be 'David Wolper, the man who produced the opening ceremony of the 1984 Olympics.'

I can do comedy, so people want me to do that, but the other side of comedy is depression. Deep, deep depression is the flip side of comedy. Casting agents don't realize it but in order to be funny you have to have that other side.

To be thrown onto the stand-up stage is an experience that you cannot fathom until you're actually there, because there's no place to go, and everyone is looking at you and you can't even see them because of the lights. And yet you have to manage to start talking and be funny on top of it.