An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission. Fred Allen advertiseagencycommission Change image and share on social
During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk. Fred Allen bigdayenjoy Change image and share on social
Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything. Fred Allen devicepeoplepermit Change image and share on social
Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done. Fred Allen committeedecidegroup Change image and share on social
You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart. Fred Allen carawayflyfruit Change image and share on social
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure. Fred Allen churchcropday Change image and share on social
An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt. Fred Allen formincomelaundry Change image and share on social
What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement. Fred Allen mindoverstatement Change image and share on social
The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi. Fred Allen parisstriketaxi Change image and share on social
We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion. Fred Allen agecomediancomedy share on social
