Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure. Fred Allen churchcropday Change image and share on social
Television is the triumph of machine over people. Fred Allen machinepeopletelevision Change image and share on social
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. Fred Allen drawgoodhang Change image and share on social
Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent. Fred Allen longsullivantalent Change image and share on social
I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. Fred Allen familysaptree Change image and share on social
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars. Fred Allen hollywoodiowamistake Change image and share on social
An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer. Fred Allen associateguyhollywood Change image and share on social
The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference. Fred Allen advertiseagencybite Change image and share on social
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. Fred Allen backcasecollege Change image and share on social
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there. Fred Allen bostonfindreturn Change image and share on social
