When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas. Emo Philips coffeeenemahave Change image and share on social
Actually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two German missionaries and a Dutch urologist. Emo Philips dutchgermanmissionary Change image and share on social
In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some. Emo Philips givegunknife Change image and share on social
I ran five miles today. Then, finally, I said, 'Here, lady... take your purse.' Emo Philips finallyladymile Change image and share on social
You know, at parties, people always ask, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alibi! Emo Philips alibikennedyparty Change image and share on social
I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!' Emo Philips askfathergirlfriend Change image and share on social
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life. Emo Philips agedaygood Change image and share on social
Well, my brother says Hello. So, hooray for speech therapy. Emo Philips brotherhoorayspeech Change image and share on social
I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me. Emo Philips dayunderwear Change image and share on social
I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks. Emo Philips blankchildfire Change image and share on social